As a Mom of two special needs children I hear, "everything happens for a reason", all to frequently. Sometimes this statement hurts and I often wonder, what reason is there? Since the birth of my children I have asked God, Why, more times than I can count. Even though I feel like I've never received an answer, I face each day with an open mind and an open heart!
When I became a Mother 9 years ago I quickly realized that many life experiences had prepared me for what I might face in my life as a Mom. As a child I wanted nothing more than to be a nurse working in a hospital taking care of others. When my grandmother passed away I took care of her in the Hospice House in Merrimack. The nursing staff often commented on how I should go into nursing and some even thought I was already well on my way to a degree. Apparently, taking care of others just came naturally. Moments before my grandmother passed away I promised her I would go back to school and fufill my life long dream.
During my clinicals and time at Harris Hill Nursing Home as an LNA I realized my dream to be a nurse had a greater meaning. I've always believed God has predetermined our life's path. Those things that come naturally to us, are God's way of helping us stay on our path. God didn't create a little girl who was going to be a nurse, he created a little girl who was going to be the Mother of two very special little boys. I truly have come to believe God was preparing me for the endless surgeries and post operative care, even as a young child. It most definately was my destiny to be a nurse, but not a nurse with a degree. I was destined to be Chase and Carter's Mom.
I've had many moments where I stop and realize that God is reminding me of his presence in my life. Showing me how my life experiences helped prepare me for the challenges I would face with my children. Lastnight, after a very trying day at Children's Hospital Boston I was given one of those reminders.
In 3rd grade, I was in a very serious accident. While riding my bike on a back road in Maine, I was struck by a large utility work truck moving at a high speed. In the moments of the crash my parents could hear the screeching tires but they could not see the road. Frantically, they ran to the scene to find me bloody, injured and in need of medical attention. The speed and force of the truck could have very easily taken my life, but someone was watching over me. Our family realized how blessed we were that day and we Thank God for intervening and saving my life. During my recovery my parents decided to prop me up with pillows and blankets in our pick up truck, and head to the apple orchard for some sunshine. Only a few days after my accident we were all still pretty shaken and my injuries didn't allow me to walk around the orchard. My parents pulled the pick up truck right under a tree so I could pick some apples. I reached up for an apple and when I took a closer look, my bright red apple had a perfectly shaped green heart on it! I remember calling my parents over to see my apple with a heart, and they told me that was God's way of telling me he was there during my accident. This was my first memory of feeling God's presence in my life. Somewhere deep in my basement I have a photo of me in the pick up truck holding up my special apple, a moment I will never forget.
It was lastnight that I was reminded of this moment and it brought me to tears. After our visit to Boston Children's Hospital yesterday with both boys we felt drained and overwhelmed. Chase and Carter will be having surgery, on the same day at BCH, to have their tonsils and adnoids removed. For typical children this is a simple procedure and recovery is filled with popcicles and ice cream. For children with special needs this procedure tends to be more involved. Due to Chase's heart disease and pacemaker extra precautions need to be taken. Putting our feelings aside we pushed through the night and dove right into preparing for surgery. Chase's pacemaker comes with an external device that we put over his pacemaker, and through our phone it sends a complete report of the pacemakers activity and stats directly to his cardiologist. In order to clear Chase for surgery his cardiologist will need to review his current pacemaker stats, so we got a jump start on things and sent it right away. After sending the report I registered his pacemaker online so that I can easily track his transmissions through the companies website. Technology is amazing and being able to instantly view the transmission and receive text alerts when they are due is great! Part of the process to register his pacemaker is creating a profile for Chase. Basic information is needed along with the serial number of his pacemaker to complete registration. The very last step of registration is to choose an avatar for your child, similar to the avatars they might choose for a video game system. As I clicked on the box to open the avatar choices, there was one that stood out so much, I honestly couldn't even see the others. The avatar was a bright red apple with a perfectly shaped heart on it! My eyes filled with tears and at that moment I could feel God's presence. He was reminding me that though our road is tough, He is always there, and has ALWAYS been there. Since I was a young girl God has prepared me for the challenges I would face as a Mother and He is always reminding me of how far I have come, and how far I will go!
Today, I am taking a moment to remember that my journey as Chase and Carter's Mother is my destiny, my fate, my childhood dream! Today, I am thankful to God for showing me once again, that my Apple has a Heart!
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
My Apple has a Heart
As a Mom of two special needs children I hear, "everything happens for a reason", all to frequently. Sometimes this statement hurts and I often wonder, what reason is there? Since the birth of my children I have asked God, Why, more times than I can count. Even though I feel like I've never received an answer, I face each day with an open mind and an open heart!
When I became a Mother 9 years ago I quickly realized that many life experiences had prepared me for what I might face in my life as a Mom. As a child I wanted nothing more than to be a nurse working in a hospital taking care of others. When my grandmother passed away I took care of her in the Hospice House in Merrimack. The nursing staff often commented on how I should go into nursing and some even thought I was already well on my way to a degree. Apparently, taking care of others just came naturally. Moments before my grandmother passed away I promised her I would go back to school and fufill my life long dream.
During my clinicals and time at Harris Hill Nursing Home as an LNA I realized my dream to be a nurse had a greater meaning. I've always believed God has predetermined our life's path. Those things that come naturally to us, are God's way of helping us stay on our path. God didn't create a little girl who was going to be a nurse, he created a little girl who was going to be the Mother of two very special little boys. I truly have come to believe God was preparing me for the endless surgeries and post operative care, even as a young child. It most definately was my destiny to be a nurse, but not a nurse with a degree. I was destined to be Chase and Carter's Mom.
I've had many moments where I stop and realize that God is reminding me of his presence in my life. Showing me how my life experiences helped prepare me for the challenges I would face with my children. Lastnight, after a very trying day at Children's Hospital Boston I was given one of those reminders.
In 3rd grade, I was in a very serious accident. While riding my bike on a back road in Maine, I was struck by a large utility work truck moving at a high speed. In the moments of the crash my parents could hear the screeching tires but they could not see the road. Frantically, they ran to the scene to find me bloody, injured and in need of medical attention. The speed and force of the truck could have very easily taken my life, but someone was watching over me. Our family realized how blessed we were that day and we Thank God for intervening and saving my life. During my recovery my parents decided to prop me up with pillows and blankets in our pick up truck, and head to the apple orchard for some sunshine. Only a few days after my accident we were all still pretty shaken and my injuries didn't allow me to walk around the orchard. My parents pulled the pick up truck right under a tree so I could pick some apples. I reached up for an apple and when I took a closer look, my bright red apple had a perfectly shaped green heart on it! I remember calling my parents over to see my apple with a heart, and they told me that was God's way of telling me he was there during my accident. This was my first memory of feeling God's presence in my life. Somewhere deep in my basement I have a photo of me in the pick up truck holding up my special apple, a moment I will never forget.
It was lastnight that I was reminded of this moment and it brought me to tears. After our visit to Boston Children's Hospital yesterday with both boys we felt drained and overwhelmed. Chase and Carter will be having surgery, on the same day at BCH, to have their tonsils and adnoids removed. For typical children this is a simple procedure and recovery is filled with popcicles and ice cream. For children with special needs this procedure tends to be more involved. Due to Chase's heart disease and pacemaker extra precautions need to be taken. Putting our feelings aside we pushed through the night and dove right into preparing for surgery. Chase's pacemaker comes with an external device that we put over his pacemaker, and through our phone it sends a complete report of the pacemakers activity and stats directly to his cardiologist. In order to clear Chase for surgery his cardiologist will need to review his current pacemaker stats, so we got a jump start on things and sent it right away. After sending the report I registered his pacemaker online so that I can easily track his transmissions through the companies website. Technology is amazing and being able to instantly view the transmission and receive text alerts when they are due is great! Part of the process to register his pacemaker is creating a profile for Chase. Basic information is needed along with the serial number of his pacemaker to complete registration. The very last step of registration is to choose an avatar for your child, similar to the avatars they might choose for a video game system. As I clicked on the box to open the avatar choices, there was one that stood out so much, I honestly couldn't even see the others. The avatar was a bright red apple with a perfectly shaped heart on it! My eyes filled with tears and at that moment I could feel God's presence. He was reminding me that though our road is tough, He is always there, and has ALWAYS been there. Since I was a young girl God has prepared me for the challenges I would face as a Mother and He is always reminding me of how far I have come, and how far I will go!
Today, I am taking a moment to remember that my journey as Chase and Carter's Mother is my destiny, my fate, my childhood dream! Today, I am thankful to God for showing me once again, that my Apple has a Heart!
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