I recently blogged about a bee in my bonnet and I HAD set the Bee free, BUT somehow that Bee is BACK!!
The blog entry I wrote about McDonald's was published in the Union Leader and I received a lot of emails, phone calls and mail about it. We even received a call from the owner of Mc Donald's telling us how much our story touched him. He even sent us a letter with gift certificates for the whole family. The negative experience really turned out to be a positive one!
We never stop going out as a family no matter how hard it is. I know some people might say "why is it so hard to go out"?, honestly sometimes we just want to be invisible when we go out or maybe blend in a little!
Today we took the kids to McDonald's Playplace for their Happy Meals and some indoor play fun. Every thing seemed to be going well. Chase and Carter were running around playing with the other kids very nicely. Then the dreaded moment came, a little boy starting calling Carter "The Monster Baby"!
Now I have said this a thousand times and I will say it again. "Out of the mouths of babes". No matter how innocent children are it still hurts a mother to hear those words. Mike and I just couldn't believe what was happening, again. The little boy kept running around the play place saying "where is the monster baby"?! After a few times of hearing this the tears started to well in my eyes. Id like to think Mike and I have developed tough skin but this still breaks our hearts. The parents did not stop the child and try to explain why Carter was different. Sound familiar, yes this is pretty much a repeat of my last Mc Donald's story. Again we sat listening to the kids talk about Carter while in the playplace and the parents did nothing. All the while Carter and Chase continue to play without a care in the world and have no idea what is going on. I only wish that they could stay so naive but I know someday Carter will hear the comments and understand that people are talking about him, staring at him and pointing at him. Some people might think that this would not happen.... people would not talk, stare or point, but trust me when I say it happens. Adults are the worst offenders of this rude behavoir. I ended up in the bathroom crying my eyes out so my son would not see me. When I came back the little boys were sitting at the table next to us eating and they started to ask questions. The mother did not seem to know what to say. Mike explained that just like the little boy had brown hair and brown eyes, Carter had one hand and one leg. Everyone is made differently by God. Mike offered to the little boys that when they were done eating they could come over and we would tell them all about Carter.
Some days I wonder why God made Carter different.
Mike and I know that Carter has changed peoples lives and will continue to make a difference in the world but we still can't help but wish he didn't have to go through life being different. Being stared at constantly. Being the center of attention every where he goes. Being faced with obstacles every day. When I was growing up I always hated my acne, I used to cry my eyes out because I looked different from the other kids. I can not imagine how Carter will deal with his differences. My complex about my acne seems so trivial compared to what Carter will be faced with.
Someone once told me "God gives special babies to special people". I wish someone would tell me if the sadness that comes with it will ever go away........
This Bee might be in my bonnet for a long time.....
Previous post about McDonald's in October blog archive
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2 comments:
I often wonder the same thing about the sadness. Unfortunately, this world is made up of inconsiderate people. It sucks that it has to be you, but someone has to teach the world (New Hampshire) that it's okay to be different. It might be hard to understand, and I may not explain it well, but sometimes I wish Wes had something on the outside to explain why he's different. The looks and stares are heartwrenching when it's not obvious that he's special. He looks typical, therefore, he must act typical.
Not only do we have special children, but we are special parents and God knows that we will make it our mission in life to educate those who don't get it.
When my husband came home from picking up Claire at daycare one day, I had that heartbreaking moment to when he told me that an older kid pointed to Claire and said "that girl is a weirdo". I cry everytime I even write it out. I asked him what the father said, and he said he told the boy nothing. Maybe he said something in the car, maybe not. To me, the comments need to be cut off right there. I would feel so much better if a parent said right there that that is not a nice thing to say and point out that we are all different from eachother.
I too have days where I am just plain pissed off that Claire has a disability. Why does she have to be the one to work extra hard? Why do we have to be the parents who have to go to the IEP's? I hate that some people judge her immediately just based on her appearance. Why do people have to be so cruel? She will do fantastic in life, I know this, but it will not be an easy journey for her. Every parent wants to protect their child from pain and we just won't be able to do that all the time and it's sad we even have to worry about that, but we do. I don't think we can change everyone's thinking, but hopefully we can change a few on this journey.
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