"DON'T YOU GET IT"

So many experiences we have as a family change us in one way or another. We have been through so much since our children were born that we are definately not the same people that said "I Do" 6 years ago. We feel that these experiences have made us stronger and closer as a family unit. I don't blog everything, good or bad. I try to keep my blog upbeat and filled with pictures. Maybe I should blog more of the not so good experiences to help educate and to just get them off my chest. So here's one that I just can not get out of my head!

Typically these experiences come from McDonalds Playarea, The Park, The Pool, or anywhere that children join to play. We were at the park the other day with both boys. This particular day we chose to go to the BIG park where there would be more kids and not go to the small park where we know the regulars who frequent it. Both boys quickly joined the others playing and running. Carter still does not have his new leg (getting it 9/25) so he is still knee walking and crawling around. Mike and I were sitting in an area right in the playhouse watching the kids play. I noticed some kids that looked like siblings staring at Carter and whispering. There were about 8 or 9 years old. Completely normal behavoir for their age to stare and wonder. Rationally I can say this is normal behavoir but emotionally it still is hard for me to watch other kids stare and whisper about my boy. The girl called her other sibling over and loudly said "Look at that boy he has no hand and no foot, LOOK". I was about 5 feet away but I just sat and thought I would let the kids sort it out instead of instantly jumping in to explain. I hate to say it but sometimes I get tired of explaining why Carter is different everywhere we go. Some days I just want to go about my merry way and not be the center of attention. So the 3 kids sat watching him and talking about his differences, again totally normal behavoir. Please don't get me wrong - I have no misconceptions about kids and their normal curiosities. Meanwhile Chase came over and caught wind of the conversation about his brother. Mike and I looked at eachother and listened to him very carefully. This is still very new that Chase explains his brothers differences to others. It is also a very critical time for Chase to interact with others appropriately in regards to his brother. As the kids kept saying to eachother "Why" Chase piped in and said "That's Carter my brother, and he was born like that, DON'T YOU GET IT" the questions continued and he repeated, "He was born like that, DON'T YOU GET IT". The third time his voice was a little louder and little more frustrated, "DON'T YOU GET IT HE WAS JUST BORN LIKE THAT". Yes the tears were flowing down my face, for pride that Chase was so precise and for saddness that this was just the beginning of questions Chase will be faced with about his brother. Chase quickly went back to playing and Carter never even knew what was going on, or did he? Carter's OT from Easter Seals feels he understands and takes in a lot of what is said about him, which scares me a little.

Chase's words keep ringing in my head..... "DON'T YOU GET IT, DON'T YOU GET IT!"

I think to myself, NO I DON'T GET IT!!!! Why was Carter born like that? After all this time 4 little words out of Chase's mouth affected me so much. How can I expect children to understand when I don't even understand. I keep asking myself "does this mean I do not accept what has happened?" If I don't get it..... do I accept it....and will I ever get it.....and will I ever accept it......???

I'm not sure what these feelings all mean but I know that they have made me think ALOT!

What I do know is that there will always be questions, stares and whispers and I just have to accept it. What I still don't know is WHY God chose Carter to be different.

Merrimack River

Earlier in the week we went to the Merrimack River down by Arms Park to ride bikes. We ended up rock climbing right in the river. I was amazed at how daring the boys were. They had little or no fear while jumping from rock to rock. I had plenty of fear for everyone. We sat on the rocks for a while with our feet in the water. We met a father and son who were kayaking. The kids had a blast watching them flip their kayaks. While playing in the water Carter came upon a turtle. I leaned over with him looking at this turtle thinking what a cool find. Just then Mike said, "that is a snapping turtle"! Holy Crap I grabbed Carter so quick! Mike picked up the turtle by it's tail for the boys to see. He was pretty big and definately not happy we picked him up. We spent quite a bit of time watching him play in the water and hide under rocks. The best was when he would poke his head out of the water for some air. The boys were fascinated. When it was time to leave the boys cried that they wanted to stay. I think 2 hours on the rocks was enough for me. We topped off this fun day with ice cream cones. Enjoy the pictures!